Strangers saw conversations in very different light | columnists

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years works for a company with 160 employees 95 miles from our city. He threw a party at a restaurant near the company. I didn’t know anyone and very much doubt I’ll ever meet those people again.

While I was at the party, I met a young woman who, like me, was there with her boyfriend and didn’t know anyone. We chatted for half an hour about the holidays and chatted in general. When she mentioned that she was recently diagnosed with a condition that I also have, I gave her some websites to look up information on and told her not to worry. I also told her that if I’m fine and can deal with this problem, anyone can. Our conversation lasted about 15 minutes and I didn’t ask any personal questions. When I had to leave the party, she sat alone and started playing with her cell phone.

The next day, my boyfriend was angry because when the woman left with her boyfriend, she said to him, “Your girlfriend kept bugging me about my condition and wouldn’t shut up.” I was speechless and hurt. i tried to be nice Why did my friend tell me? He said nothing to her to defend me. Worse, what did he accomplish by repeating what she said? He knew I was going to be bad. I will never meet these people again. Am I wrong if I feel hurt? — FUCKING EAST

DEAR DAMNED: I’m still trying to figure out why someone would tell a stranger their health condition at a party and then get offended when the person tries to be helpful. If she was uncomfortable with what you said, she should have told you, not your boyfriend. There’s nothing wrong with feeling hurt. However, you are wrong if you blame your friend for telling you something he thought you needed to hear. That’s what people who love do.

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DEAR ABBY: My partner and I have been together for 11 years and have lived together for 7 years. He is a realtor in his hometown. I had a stroke four years ago that forced me into early retirement. Real estate is a dog-eat-dog vocation. Paychecks are few and far between, so I pay the rent and all the household bills. He pays his personal bills and the costs of doing business as a broker.

He is currently broke and doesn’t have the money to pay his personal bills. I refuse to pay them. I think he should take a part time job to pay his own bills but he refuses. Of course there will be a backlash and he will blame me. He loses his car, phone, real estate license, health and auto insurance, etc.

I bailed him out once before, but I’m no longer willing to do it because I’m running out of money I had set aside for retirement. He already owes me thousands of dollars in multiple loans that I don’t expect to be repaid. What can I do? I don’t want to break up or keep fighting about it. – PLAN AHEAD

LOVE PLANNING: Your “partner” refuses to look for a part-time job in order to support themselves and not be dependent on you? Dear Sir or Madam, You may not want to separate after this time, but your partner is a luxury you can no longer afford. Stop arguing, accept it and move on.

DEAR ABBY: What’s a real tip for skipping a waiter at an all-you-can-eat buffet? They bring water and bring the table but we get our own food and drink. They certainly don’t work as hard as waiters in a sit down restaurant. — MIRACLE IN THE EAST

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LOVE QUESTIONS: The employees you describe also “work hard”. If you eat at the restaurant, leave a few bucks for the bus drivers to clear the dishes. If you get ADDITIONAL service, leave 10%.

Good advice for everyone – teens to seniors – is in The Anger We All Have and How to Deal With It. To order, mail your name and mailing address and a check or money order for $8 (US funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and packaging are included in the price.)

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